Our son "Bear" is here!!! This has been the most stressful week of my life! The Hubs said it's the second most stressful, the only week that beats it being Pumpkin's birth and my near death.
Our bmom was induced a few weeks early and we were in heaven. Our meeting was great and we were reassured. We are so in love with them and were so excited to meet our son. The plan was to go up to the hospital once it was clear labor was close. I called our foster agency to tell them we needed respite with the possibility of placement of Petunia; but we were going to give our 30 days notice after the 72 hours were up. We got the ultimate shock when our social worker told us we had to decide right now. Lose Petunia to anther foster home within the hour if we accept the private adoption or keep Petunia and call off the private adoption. This was not our plan. We did not know the county worker could be so heartless. Then we get a call from bdad telling us they didn't want us to come to the hospital today. I understood but getting the news that Petunia could be moved forever within the hour and then getting this FREAKED ME OUT! I thought we were going to end up losing two babies in one day. It was not bdad's job to reassure me, but he did. He said they wanted the day to rest and just be them. I really really get it, but I really really thought they were going to decide to parent. We had to chose. The Hubs called the county worker and explained the situation that we won't know until 72 hours after the birth if he is our son or not. She called our foster agency to discuss it more. They then called us with the same thing. Chose. I had a full blown panic attack. We were so in love with the birth parents and wanted them in our lives. We wanted to be done with the constant worrying and wondering. But we didn't know if they would actually place or parent. I couldn't decide. It was making me sick. The hubs said without a shadow of a doubt, private adoption. We could lose Petunia any second for any reason. Any stranger could step forward, just like Sweet Potato. Obviously I am so grateful to have such a solid rock in my life. We told our foster agency and they straight up no joke took Petunia from my MIL's within the hour. I was not prepared physically or mentally for this. It was awful. They were trying to find a reason to write us up. And had the nerve to say to The Hubs, "because of this we would have a hard time considering you for any future placements." Now they have threatened us with this in the past because I needed the case worker to take our foster child to a birth parent visit. It was completely uncalled for. They told us we didn't have enough clothing... Yeah, no kidding there was only enough for 4 days. We didn't have her bear, or piggy bank. etc. We were not expecting her to leave like that. Everything about the situation completely turned us off. And without a shadow of doubt, we will not be renewing our foster license (which was only 2 hours of classes away, due at the end of the month). We are PISSED with how this was handled. PISSED! So I cried all day. My eyes were swollen. We put all of our faith in the Lord.
The next morning we were waiting and staring at my phone waiting for an update. I literally wouldn't let my phone go to sleep. I didn't want to miss a text. Finally we got it. We were told to come up and meet Bear. All of the weight of the world was lifted off. They allowed a friend to take our pictures of our first meeting and I am SOOOOO GRATEFUL for them to allow it and for my friend to do it. I was so at ease. I was so in love. He is crazy beautiful. It was amazing. They let us hold him the whole time until they were discharged. They said goodbyes and everything was perfect...until we were moved into the breast feeding "room" more like a closet. I couldn't care less. I would have slept in the middle of the hallway as long as they let us keep our son with us. We had a long night without a tv or window to look at all we did was watch our son and stare at our phones. I knew the birthmom was having a hard time and it KILLED me. Adoption really is the hardest thing. Your joy and blessing is someone else's loss and heartache. I really wish I could have carried all of their pain for them. It wasn't until the morning that our adoption worker called and said they were second guessing their decision. My heart fell. I knew they needed to come to the decision they felt was right for them and for him. But I was once again freaking out. Bmom and bdad came up for a visit. I am SOOOO happy they did. Our fears were put to rest. They reassured us they knew adoption was the path they needed to take. I can't say this enough... we are so blessed to have them in our lives. Our visit was great. They held him the whole time they were there.
We had a couple of friends come and visit, thank the lord because that room was awful. The nurses thankfully snuck us into a private shower for the doctors. I am so happy they did. I get funky quick and have to shower EVERY day. I wish I was the person who could go days without washing my hair. My in-laws brought their laptop and some movies. We brought movies, thinking we could use the tv in the room. Bmom and I were texting back and forth and I felt great. Bear was amazing. He is such an easy and lovely baby. Awww he is perfection.
So then it was the last day, the day of the paperwork. The minutes and seconds couldn't move any slower. I just felt like it was never going to happen. I thought we were going to be the couple with the ten failed adoptions. I thought there was no way we were getting matched with a perfectly healthy baby. God knew we were open to whatever He brought our way. Then Ms P the adoption worker called to warn me they were having some doubts again. But they still wanted her to go out. At that point the minutes dragged to years. 5pm hit and still no news. We tried to watch stuff on netflix but we couldn't keep our mind off of it. We watched our phones over and over again.
We got a quick text from Ms P... the papers were signed. He was officially our son. I was in shock.
We cried. We kissed him over and over again. We both wanted to scream it to everyone on the floor. We have a son!! Ms P came up right after she left there to do our paperwork. After paperwork we were discharged. It was great. We are home and the girls will be home to meet THEIR BROTHER tomorrow night after we get a good nights rest in a bed. We facetimed them a couple of times in the hospital and they were so cute. They kept saying his name and kissing the phone and trying to hug him. Aww it was adorable.
So here we are now. 6 months from now will be our court date. But we "officially" have our son. We have two more people in our family. We are so grateful to God for matching us with the perfect couple.
Congratulations Annie! Paula
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