And this is it

This is the end of my blog. I may start another one with a different topic, or may just wait until we find a surrogate or another route to adopt and continue this one.
Our agency got an anonymous tip so I have to shut it down. I have really enjoyed writing it.

We will be adopting L in February. If you personally know me then you will find out what happens to BB. If not, sorry for the suspense. I wish I could continue writing. If BB doesn't stay we will be hiring a surrogate (unless someone approaches me and asks me to take their baby) aha

All sorts of crazy

This week was a trial for BB. Even though all of the county workers want him placed with me, that may not happen. Grandma still has a very good chance of getting him. I have made myself sick over this, or it could be the box of cookies I ate to helps my woes. We love him so much and he is part of our family.
BB is now 2 months old and I can't believe how much he has changed. He still looks like a newborn.
On another note, I asked if we could get L's ears pierced before her adoption hearing, in February. That was shot down.

This is all way more drama than I like to have in my life and it is wearing me down. I feel depressed and worn out.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

E's first date

I think it is really important to have one on one time with your kids. To make them feel special. I had a lot of one on one with my mom because we went shopping, but no dates. I had too many siblings to do that. But my great aunt took me out at least once a year and I loved it. I am so grateful to her. I remember all of the things we did together. And that's saying a lot because I have a horrible memory. So at least once a month I want the both of us to take a kid out on a date.
We took E to go see Tangled. I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was going to be vulgar like a lot of the Pixar movies. Plus, I'm not a fan of computer animated things. But it was really cute. Not as good as The Princess and the Frog, but really cute. She loved it and I'm glad we took her. We were playing it by ear to see who was in a better mood between her and L. Seeing as L didn't take a nap, E won.

She really couldn't have cared less if I was there. She was so excited to be hanging out with poppa

She sat through the whole movie like this. Of course on her poppa's lap


She has NEVER had this much sugar in one day. She wouldn't let the Icee out of her sight. After the previews I had to take it away because 1/4 of it was gone. We couldn't have any because I told her it was all gone.


We also went to the zoo as a family to see the Christmas lights.

Baby Boy is in that sling. Man, I love him.


The girls were in their double stroller and we were set. M met us there after he got off of work


Poppa's girl

Side note, don't put your curly daughter in a hat unless you want to braid that night. hahahah Also, an AA man at my dads work saw L's picture on his desk and said, "I need to teach your daughter how to comb her hair". It hurt my feelings, because I like the way her hair looks and it takes me A LOT of time to do.

St Nick and a tangent

Happy belated St Nick's! (I was raised catholic, it's a tradition I like, so it stays)

My girls love a good puppet

E was SOO excited to finally be able to touch her stocking

BB hung out with me while the girls got into their stockings

An update on BB. I am no longer allowed to sit in with BB's visits. We moved locations and so the formality begins. It was heartbreaking to drop him off to a stranger. Not knowing what was happening. But I'm sure what I felt was nothing compared to a kid who understands. That would be so terrifying. It breaks my heart that these kids go through torture because their "parents" can't get their act together. And their parents get chance after chance after chance, at what cost to the kid? It's just upsetting. I like what my friend said about fostering, nobody is above doing this. Nobody is too rich, too poor, too old, too anything as long as you provide a loving, nurturing, structured, and balanced home. (paraphrasing, but you get the idea).
"I just couldn't do it, what if I fell in love with the kid and couldn't (didn't want to) adopt" First off, you should fall in love with that kid. The love you give that kid may be the only love they ever truly know. You don't think my heart breaks every time I think about BB not staying? But then he smiles, or coos, or falls asleep on me; and my heart melts. I am crying as I'm typing. I probably am just overly tired and need to go to bed.

Like father, like son

I love the snow

SNOW DAY!


catching snowflakes


I was snuggling BB inside, but dad is having fun with the girls

ANDREA!

My awesome cousin is at it again. She took some pictures of the girls last month. She got some great ones of them together. These are some that don't show L's face. This was before we had BB, so I asked her to take a couple of pictures of him yesterday. They literally made me cry. I obviously can't post them. He is too tiny and doesn't wiggle around so all of his pictures show his beautiful face.

My beautiful girl

I love this picture and it is so perfect for the blog, since L is looking down.

Eye

Bring on the snow

First, BB is doing great! We love him but there is probably only a 30% chance he will stay. I am trying to stay positive, but this is hard. If he doesn't stay we will be looking into hiring a surrogate. I just don't know if I could handle another baby not staying.


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
We went downtown for the tree lighting ceremony. I think that will become a new family tradition. It was a blast, minus L's meltdown when the firework finale came.


E's reaction to seeing the christmas tree. The picture doesn't do her reaction justice. There were a lot of "CUTE!" and "YAYs!!"

I can't post L's reaction, but she looks a lot happier.

My mom is working on M and L's stocking. She has had 3 years to make M's, but she assures me it will be done this year. I picked out the patterns and told me she will never let me choose again. I guess it took a long time, not 3 years long, but a month long.

The tree skirt is missing because one of our dogs ate it. I am on the hunt for another one. I also want a tree topper, my mom gave me the one that's currently on the tree. But I had already fallen for these glass tree toppers

We tried staying up to watch Rudolf and drink hot chocolate (Only a treat for fun things like this).


E had never had it before and hers was gone in about 2 minutes. Who knows if L has had it before, but my guess is yes. Then, 15 minutes later they started getting restless, so it was time for bed.

Life is so great!

We fall more and more in love with BB every day. It's such a weird thing. You just love this little baby so much, but you don't let yourself fall completely because you don't know if he will become a permanent member. But keeping that mind set will help, just in case. We had our first birth parent meeting and it was so weird. They were very nice to me, but it was weird watching them kiss him and call him their child. I know he is, but in my mind he is my baby. If he doesn't work out we will definitely be looking into domestic adoption or surrogacy, again. I still really want to adopt from Ethiopia, but I really want a newborn. So if we adopt hopefully our next one will be from Africa. If we hire a surrogate it is likely we may have twins and we are done at 4 and besides, we will be so broke that adoption wouldn't even be a possibility. hahah But please keep praying he stays.

L kissing on BB

Sisters


L's hair is a feat. We have been putting E to bed and then doing L's hair. She is up much later than normal, which means crying fits and tantrums, but she is more likely to sit still and not be distracted. So it's a lose win situation.

Before (It's sopping wet, but doesn't look it) M really needs to learn how to do it. But he combs out in the bath. So I guess we are even.

After


Then on Wednesday I will unbraid it and wear it "natural" for two days. That's my favorite look. It's a shame it doesn't look like that every day. Then start the process over again.

Baby boy

As I mentioned in a previous post we called the county for a waiting sibling set. That fell through but were immediately placed with a brand new baby boy. Oh he is so sweet!! We are hoping, hoping, praying we get to keep him forever. Please pray for that too, if you don't mind. We love him so. The girls kiss him about a thousand times a day. They "feed" him, give him his pacifier, tell me to be quiet when he is crying or sleeping. hahah He is the perfect addition. He is super tiny and precious. We have our first visit with the birth parents this week and I am really nervous about it. We didn't have to do that with L. Will they yell at me? Will they follow me? Will they love me? Will they decide that he is better off with us (not likely, but possible)? I put a "little brother" bib in his diaper bag so they will know that he is part of our family. This is all new unfamiliar territory for me.

As a side note, I will be referring to him as BB (baby boy) so I don't share his name (which we of course would change if he became ours). We LOVE this little guy.

TANGLE TEEZER

If you have a child of some sort of African decent, BUY THIS!! I read about it on Treasures for Tots. But kept putting off the purchase. Well, a friend bought it for us and it cut braiding day by at least 20 minutes. It was AMAZING! I still had to use a comb after but I can't believe the ease of this brush. Please do yourself a favor and buy one. Click here

February

I was reading my first blog entry the other day and it's so weird what has happened in that short amount of time. I was expecting to start the paperwork for an Ethiopian adoption this past February, well a year later we ended up with our daughter and she will be officially ours this coming February. I didn't have to travel half way around the world to find her. My heart is still in Ethiopia and I would still love to adopt from there. I would also like to hire a surrogate (using my eggs) and I would also like to adopt from our county again. So who knows what our family will look like in the future. There is no sense in planning it now. If you would have told me a year ago that our next child would not come from Ethiopia I would not have believed you. Who knows, maybe the only chance I will get to go to Ethiopia is to visit our sponsored child. I hope that's not the case, but it's crazy how you really have no say how your future will turn out. It's so exciting and such a surprise. All I know is that I am so grateful to have my amazingly sweet baby girls.

Halloween

Last week I called about a sibling set needing an adoptive home. I have yet to hear back from the county, but I am anxiously awaiting some news.
In other news, E and L had a BLAST trick-or-treating. It was so much fun and I am so grateful my in laws could pass out candy while we did our street.

Creepy I know



She needed to sit not even half way through to look at all of her candy :)


Best dad ever


Her side eye is saying, you better not take this sucker away from me (and she is wearing my head band as a necklace. I have no idea where she learned that, but it's adorable)



It was time for bed

Pumpkin Patch

I wish I had video of her laughing and bouncing in here

Love my girls

She fell on the vines about every other step

Gram, Gramp, E, and E's pumpkin


Rocks, enjoyment for a few minutes

Needing Help

I have two areas of concern and would love your advice.

First, I have been avoiding church because I didn't want to leave L in the daycare. I finally felt like we were at the point in our attachment where I could. I dropped E and L off in the same room and neither one noticed or cared I was leaving. But when I came back to pick them up E ran over to me to be held, but L didn't. In fact, she refused to come back to me. She fell on the floor and started crying. I know she had fun (she got chocolate donuts thanks to my Aunt T, which she has never had in my presence). But is that a normal reaction for her age? Or is that a sign of something else? I hate that this is something I have to worry about, but it is a real concern for me. I am going to go again this week and see what she does. If she has the same reaction we may have to forgo church for a while. :/

Second, she HATES getting her teeth brushed. When I say HATES, I mean it. She is in hysteria. Mainly when I get to the front top teeth. I have tried waiting until she calms down and continuing. That just draws out the process. I always give her the toothbrush after I'm done so she can "brush" her teeth. I have tried letting her brush my teeth. I always show her how I brush my teeth. E goes first and does great. L watches her the whole time. I just don't know what to do.

Help!!

Officially matched

Even though L has been with us for a couple of months and I really didn't even know this was a step in the process, it's still exciting news. This week we had a meeting with the county and they "officially matched us". I am thinking our adoption hearing is in the beginning of February, but I should know for sure when our new adoption worker comes to our house. EXCITING!!!

Loving my girls

I never thought I'd be this mom.


But man, I love dressing my girls alike.

Today we went to our first pumpkin patch of the year. It's crazy that a week ago they were in coats and hats. This week they are in summer dresses. We went with my wonderful MIL and my friend that fosters met us with her two foster kids. It was an awesome day. Until E was bit by a rooster.

I really can't get a good picture of them together

Hay-rides