We decided to foster again after Bear's finalization but wouldn't you know God had another plan. I was really sick of fostering after everything we went through pre Bear and was ready to give up. But blogs like this, and this, and this, made me think it's not about me. It's about these poor kids who have been left high and dry. So we renewed our license and were ready to go.
When my friend asked if I could watch her foster baby a few times this month, I said OF COURSE! I love her baby. She is so sweet and we've watched her a handful of times. Well my friend called our agency (remember our agency is small, not the county agency because our county is private) to let them know I'd be doing respite. her worker said, "They are no longer with the agency". She told them, "Yes they are. They debated not renewing their license, but they did." Her worker told her, "I will look into this and call you back." Her worker called my friend back and said, "They are not approved." My friend was shocked. Everyone who knows me knows I am an excellent mother and provide only the best home for any child in my care. She asked why, so she could inform me. The worker told her that I would have to call the agency to find out.
When my friend called me I was confused. I had no idea what was going on. I was wondering if maybe we weren't renewed in time (even though I got a confirmation letter in the mail with our certificate). We have been on the foster parent honor roll since we started fostering. I was just confused. So I called the agency and left a voicemail for one of the supervisors. The next day when I still hadn't heard I left another voicemail. 30 minutes before they closed I called back and left a voicemail for the president of the company. Would you believe not 30 seconds after I finished my voicemail to the president the manager called me back.
SW: Sorry I didn't call you back, I was in meetings all day
Me: Well I called yesterday as well, but whatever (shouldn't start the conversation off like that. But I can never keep my feelings buried)
SW: How can I help you
Me: well my friend called to see if I could provide respite and her worker told her I wasn't with the agency, when she confirmed I was she told her I wasn't approved. What's going on?
SW: Well we decided not to place with you while you are working with the other agency (our adoption agency)
Me: Ok. Even though my homestudy isn't open with them? And even just for respite
SW: We won't work with you while you're working with them
(as my friend pointed out. She is in the middle of her adoption and she has a foster placement. ALSO, why wasn't I informed of this. Why did I have to find out through a friend. I should have been notified, I wouldn't have offered to watch other people's kids like an idiot)
Me: ok that's fine. I also want to know how my friend's social worker knew we were contemplating not renewing our license. How did she even know who we are?
SW: I'm confused. What do you want to know?
Me: I want to know what's being said about me behind my back
SW: Well I can tell you, you aren't in good standing with the agency
Me: ????? What??? Why not?
SW: Because of your last placement and how you handled it.
Me: ???????? What?? Can I tell you my side of the story?
SW: IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO SHARE IT
(don't even get me started on that comment)
Me: When we were placed with Petunia we were told it was an adoption. I never met her social worker, NEVER. And have never been that much in the dark with a case. When her GAL came out and told me her birth parents wanted her back and if they did what they needed to do she would recommend placing back with them (while not exactly Sweet Potato, it made me think of him and his case and how I was set to adopt him when out of the blue a "family friend" stepped forward and against recommendation from his SW and GAL the magistrate ruled to place him with the friend.). I cried when the GAL was here. I told her we were going to open up our adoption homestudy at the agency again. I called my SW (who was new to the agency and I wasn't fond of) and was crying to her. Telling/ Begging her to get in contact with his county worker to find out what was going on. I told her we were going to open up our homestudy again. I never met the county worker. I would have called her if I had any contact info on her. (Besides, that is like the only job my SW had. To be the middle man).
When we opened up our homestudy we NEVER thought we would get chosen right away and we thought if by some miracle we were chosen the baby wouldn't be here until after Petunia's next court date. Well I was wrong, and since I had no clue what was going on with the case we moved forward. When Bear was born I was told by my worker I had one hour to chose between Petunia or Bear. We cried. We begged. We finally got a number for our county worker (whom we still never met) and cried and begged her. Please don't take her from us. And if you do please wait until the parents have terminated their rights on Bear. They made us chose. We chose Bear. It isn't my fault with how she was removed, that was all your agency. When the GAL called a month and a half after Petunia was removed to set up a visit, she was FURIOUS to learn she was removed and that she wasn't informed and that she wanted her back with us.
SW: Well if you feel we need to discuss this further we can set up a meeting
Me: I think that's a great idea.
The president got in contact with me and told me she heard I talked with the manager and we had a meeting set up. I asked if she could be present she said she couldn't but she would have someone with the agency who used to foster and has adopted 10 kids. I was satisfied with that.
Ok, what the heck. I am sick of dealing with them. This isn't the first time they have held crap over my head. When I said I needed help getting my foster placements to a visit they said they didn't know if they could place kids in my home if I couldn't get them to visits (This was not a regular thing. I have never asked for help before. And it wasn't just me. My friends have all had similar experiences)
I have NEVER been written up. I have NEVER had a rule violation. I have unconditionally loved all of the kids in my home. Whether they were there for 3 hours of a year. EVERY SINGLE social worker and GAL has loved me (with the exception of the most recent private worker, but she had no reason not to). All of the county workers wished they could keep every single one of our foster children with us permanently, but it wasn't up to them.
So long story short, this will never change. I wish it was just as easy helping a broken child. I wish the crappiest thing I had to deal with would be crazy birth parents. Unfortunately, a lot of people are sick of my agency and I do not want to deal with them. I am so sick of this drama. All of this gets me anxious and I don't even have a placement. So our plan is to provide respite for my friends until our license is expired (obviously after Bear's finalization) and then move on.
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