Readers,
I need your help! My plan was to have 5 kids, but the hubs and I settled on 4. So I really don't know how we should adopt next. When we thought we were going to be able to keep Petunia and Bear we were ready to be done. Not the family I dreamed (every transracial family knows that it's the best to have more than one child with color) And I told God, if he picked an AA or biracial baby boy to join our family we would be done at 3, but He picked Bear.
We are planning on starting the process when Bear is around 1 because I could handle a year difference in our children, but don't want them to be more than 3 years apart.
So let me give you the plus and minuses of both.
Domestic local- we would work with our same agency again (WHICH I LOVE) but I feel like I am cheating everyone else who's waiting since we have three kids already. I'm afraid that I couldn't give as much time to a birthmother as I am now with Bear's bmom (which would probably make me feel guilty). I know how our county's adoption works and it would be great to not have to worry about losing money in travel expenses. Also, I REALLY REALLY want to try and breast feed. I wish I knew about the pill before Bear so I could start producing before he was born. Plus, I would get a newborn again. The wait I'm sure would be much much longer.
Domestic national- I think there's more of a need for families to adopt AA babies. Since we couldn't see the birthparents as often I know that's a relationship that could work and I wouldn't feel guilty about. I'm terrified of having a failed adoption in a state I don't know without the support of family. I'm also really scared of missing the birth of our child (if asked to be there). Pluses, newborn and breastfeeding.
International- There is obviously a huge need. It's something I have always wanted to do. Down side, the agency I would like to work with has a THREE YEAR wait for Ethiopia (not that I'm 100% set on Ethiopia, but that would be my first choice). And the $$$$$. We were blessed that Bear's adoption was as "inexpensive" as it was. Ethiopia would be at least double what we spent for Bear's and I have no idea where we would get that money. It's not like I could get a job because our cost of daycare would take away from all money earned to go towards our adoption. Plus the tax deduction is gone.
I keep going back and forth. Please vote below (it's anonymous).
Happy Voting Day! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI voted Domestic (local) and I'll tell ya why. I think that's what I would do if I were in your situation. You thought it would be a long time before you were matched with Bear because you already had 2 kids but that wasn't really the case, was it? In your situation I would strongly consider putting in your profile that you're accepting placement for AA or biracial only (and explain why). From what I understand adoptive families who accept placements for AA boys are the most rare. Don't feel like you're cheating another adoptive couple - it's completely up to the birthparents. Someone might be hoping for their baby to grow up with other siblings or be part of a big family…and it could be comforting for the bparent to know that their baby won't be the only brown one in the family.
Thank you for your input! I need all the help I can get. This is a hard one.
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