I'd rather be sitting on sand

I feel sick to my stomach.  I feel deflated.   

I want to sit on a beach with the hubs and the girls. 

I want to know what God's plan is. 

I called our foster agency to see if they placed the twins. They of course had.  Should we just be fostering? Are we meant to have another baby? Will we have a son?

Really, I just want to be on a beach right about now.