surrogacy take 2

Our friend offered to be our surrogate. (actually two friends did). One was left at, we will see what happens in a couple of years. But another friend out of the blue said she would do it. These offers mean the world to me. I know what a difficult thing that must be, to loan out your uterus. I know that if I had a friend in my spot I would without hesitation offer to do it. I mean, I have offered my eggs to numerous people, everyone declined, but still I would do that. I know how hard it is to have difficulty procreating. For me, it's not about sharing my DNA. It's about not having to worry how or when we will have another child. I don't think most people understand the stress I live every day of not knowing if or when or how we will have another child. I am fortunate enough to have a husband that doesn't put me down for this. I know a lot of men would have an issue with me being infertile. I don't give enough credit to him. But he truly is the most amazing man I could have ever asked for. Completely loyal and loving to our family. For normal people. they want another kid, 10 months later out pops a kid. For me, it's a roller coaster we will have another kid, oh no we won't. Oh we were referred another kid, oh no, that didn't work out. It's really frustrating. Who knows where this will lead, but I am so appreciative of the offers and the glimmer of hope it provides us.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and are willing to help. Thank you Lord!

Love

When I think about how much I love my girls my heart nearly explodes

I love them more than they will ever understand. I love that Honey has a foot smelling fetish and Pumpkin's an accessory wearing diva. I love how Honey loves everyone, especially her baby brother. I love how Pumpkin takes charge of any and all situations. I love them. I love hearing them say, "Mommy". I truly am blessed.

How Cute!

Isn't she adorable!

Oh I can't wait for our puppy. Molly's owner stressed to me multiple times that the first year is REALLY rough with a PWD. I thought that was funny. The litter we are looking at all have similar markings to her. By the end of August we will be welcoming a new member.

No Go

Remember when I said we called on a sibling set. Well that's not going to work out for our family :( Blah. I hate this time. Waiting for a call is the worst.
I've been feeling pretty down lately. Part of that has to do with my weight. Part of that has to do with Sweet Potato and other stuff. But back to my weight. It's too much. I need to work out and my favorite thing to do is walk my dog. Well neither of my dogs are good walking dogs, so the hunt begins for a new family member. We went to the pound and I fell in love with "sparky"

So did this little lady

But it just didn't feel right. He was a great little dog and totally adorable, but just not right. We looked at a few others, but nothing. So we started researching breeds. We looked into Cavalier King Charles and Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier. Neither one were the perfect match. So we came upon PWD (portuguese water dogs). We are meeting with a puppy from a previous litter that lives about an hour away. I am so excited!! I know this is the perfect fit for our family now. I am excited to have a dog that will force me to walk. (I am totally weird and can't walk by myself. I feel like eveyone that runs or walks should have a dog.) My husband has been going to the gym every morning and he is looking mighty fine. I however can't go to the gym by myself. (Again leading up to my weird social anxiety that people don't believe i have). So, we go tomorrow and I am beyond excited! My puppy has been born, but the breeder doesn't match them until their personalities come out. I have my favorites picked out, but don't want to get too excited because I don't want to be sad if I'm not matched with the one I think is the cutest. I'll let you know how the meeting went.

What to do

There is a sibling set available on our county website. I really want to call on them. My husband doesn't want to take in two right now. It's weird. I would LOVE another baby. But I would also LOVE to be done with all of this and have a complete family. I don't like that I would be taking things into my own hands. I feel like the call should just come and God plans it just the way it's supposed to be. But I guess it would still work the way it's supposed to. We have little time left with our sweet potato and it is hard. I am glad we had him for the time we did. And I would do it all over again just to have had him in our lives. But the anxiety I feel of waiting for a call. If I am in an area that has poor reception I get nervous that I'm missing "the call". I lose my phone a lot and hope I will find it in time before it stops ringing. If I'm in the shower the phone is right next to me on the floor. In our county if you miss a call, or stay on the phone too long with the social worker, that could be all the difference between getting a child and not. You can't go into detail about their lives, if it's even available. It's a flawed process. I wish that the county wasn't privatized.

Happy 4th

Yesterday we started it off by going to a friends firework show in their back yard. It was so close I couldn't watch it. My eyes were watering because it was so bright.


Pumpkin was TERRIFIED of the fireworks.

If Honey got to choose her momma she would choose my friend Bethany

Today we went to the parade I look forward to all year long. It is seriously, so much fun.
My sweet God Daughter Bea and her momma (my friend)

Holy heck was it hot out there. Poor Honey was dying under all of that hair. And Sweet Potato was drenched

Pumpkins favorite were the greyhound rescue. (most of the greyhouds past after i took the picture)


The, don't massacre the bed bugs, people

The best float. I don't think they were promoting anything

dance party!



The perfect way to end a parade. As my friend dresses as a pink unicorn with a phallic hat

Strangers

Today I was at a local water park and there was the cutest little AA girl running around. She didn't appear to be supervised so I started looking around for her parents. There were no other black people around so I got excited because I figured she was adopted. I love talking to people about adoption and fostering. I am a goober like that. Anyway, I asked the little girl if she saw her mom and she ran over to her. Her mom walked up to me and said while on the phone, "Oh is she bothering you? I'm sorry." And I said, "No not at all, she is adorable. Was she adopted?" Her, "No she is our foster daughter. We've had her a year and a half". "Oh, this is my daughter Honey. She was recently adopted." She said," Oh through foster care? (I say yes) and she said. "We'll don't feel like you have to watch her. She is really annoying." I couldn't believe my ears. What? I know your kids can annoy you sometimes, but I would NEVER say my kid is annoying. Especially to a stranger and another foster parent at that. All I could say was, "No, she is so sweet." How heart breaking. And she really was the sweetest. She was trying to wash my tattoos off. She told me her teeth were black and mine were white. I corrected her and laughed. Honey and she were running around holding hands. They were too cute. If people have that kind of attitude, why foster? I really don't get it.