The Blah's

I don't remember if I mentioned this and am too lazy to look back to see if I did. A while ago I made an inquiry about a 4 year old girl from Louisiana. In our county you have to submit your homestudy to hear the referral for a specific child. You then determine if you would like to move forward with the placement. So, I joined adopt us kids website specifically for this beautiful little girl and then was eventually told to submit my homestudy. I did and heard nothing for over a month. Well, I finally got an email from her caseworker saying they picked another family. I wrote the cw back saying I was happy she had a home but was unhappy to have this be the only communication between us. I mean, I hope I wasn't in the running without knowing anything about her except her age, race, and location.

To top things off my foster care social worker told me that I actually won't hear anything about the baby boy we are in the running for for a couple more weeks.

I know that God knows our child or who our child will be, but I would really love for Him to tell me soon. I am seriously getting depressed over this. Peanut is leaving in about a week (still no official date was given). And I really just want our family to be complete. I still get upset over losing Sweet Potato and I am just not good with waiting in general.

I have never been dumped, at least not since grade school. And I have never had to deal with this much rejection.

#1 Sweet Potato

#2 The sibling set we were matched with but the c.w.'s supervisor picked another family unknowingly

#3 Peanut

#4 The private adoption baby boy

#5 This little girl from LA (technically not matched but still feels like rejection)

I know this is a lot of complaining, and I'm sorry. I really am struggling with this. I don't want a pity party. I just want to be done with the anxiety, worry, stress. I feel like when you are able to have bio kids you don't get as stressed about adding to your family, because you can make it happen. But when you are leaving it 100% up to God and you have no control over the matter it's rough.

I know once we have our little one I will be so grateful for the wait because our child wouldn't be our child if we hadn't waited that time. I will know there was a reason that S.P. and none of the other matches worked out.

Who know's maybe all of these rejections are just here to tell us that our son is in Ethiopia.