Saturday Classes

Today was our last class. Well, our last Saturday class. We have to make up two classes, but those will now be held on Thursdays. Today was very emotional. Maybe more than any other class. We watched video's of kids who were adopted and kids who weren't. We watched video of adoptive parents. It broke my heart. It made me wonder why everyone doesn't adopt. Why don't older couples adopt teenagers? It broke my heart. There is no doubt in my mind when we are older we will. I don't think it would be beneficial to adopt a kid who is 5-10 years younger than us. When I look at our counties website and see the available teenagers or kids and they are smiling so big for their picture. You know they want a family. Who doesn't?!! "People will ask if it's the "right" thing to do? "You know they will be 'Bad'". Just because they may act out means they don't deserve a home? And someone to love them? I think not. How would you feel if everything you know, everyone you know was stripped from your life? How would you feel if the only love you knew deserted you? How would you feel going to 5 different schools a year because you have no stability in your life?

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

This is a great day to celebrate Momma's! Whether you gave birth to them or not! Our babies are lucky to have us, lucky to have mommas that care so much for our babies. This time last year I was miserable. I couldn't move and was massively swollen (in case you didn't read, I hated being pregnant). But man oh man was it worth it. I hope this time next year I can say to my kid(s) I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. If not, next years post may not be so happy hhahhah. E, you light up my life. My heart stops when you do something new (LIKE YOUR TWO STEPS YESTERDAY woop woop). You make me laugh, although I probably shouldn't, when you pull your friend to the ground by his hair because he has your pacifier. Take it in. You only have one more month with them. You crack me up. I love when people tell me how beautiful you are, and I simply say I know. I hope you are more tactful than me. hahah You are sweet and I know you are excitedly awaiting your siblings. I see the look in your eye and the smile on your face when you see kids, you light up. (Now I am crying- haha)






More importantly than mother's day, is my husband's birthday! Way to steal my thunder honey, hahahah. What would I do without you? You are the best and you spoil me. E and I are lucky to have you. You are the best one! Every time someone says, I have the best husband, I say no you don't; I do. I know that for a fact. You are the best. You love me and you love our daughter. You don't hold any resentment for me for not being able to give birth. In fact, you are excited to adopt and not many men would be that open and kind. You became handy out of necessity, I love that! YOU ARE THE BEST!





E thinks so too!

If you say any of these things, I may be mad, but I will be sure to let you know.

How to Lose a Friendship with a Foster Parent
By Carrie Craft, About.com

1. Tell the foster family how you could never do foster care because you would love the children too much. This way the foster family feels cold hearted as that is the only way anyone could do foster care according to your statement.

2. Bug the foster family with questions about why the children are not with their birth mom and dad. This is a great way to push the foster family into breaking confidentiality and ruining their reputation as a professional part of the foster care team.

3. Advise the foster family that the foster child just needs a good spanking to solve behavior problems. The foster family will then feel further overwhelmed not only in dealing with behaviors, but in constantly having to explain and defend discipline choices.

4. Devalue the foster family's choice to serve the children of the community by criticizing their decision. Explain how you would never do foster care because it brings bad influences into your home and into the lives of your children.

5. Say things like, "you're too strict", "all the kids need is love," and "you should baby the kids more they've been through so much," undermining the foster parent's ability to make parenting choices for the children within their care.

6. Refuse to understand the need for the children to have boundaries within relationships and triangulate with the kids every chance you get. Try siding with the kids against the foster parents, they love this!

7. When the foster parent is venting to you as one of their much needed support systems, say, “I’ve never seen him/her act like that, he/she was perfect for me,” or “I would take him/her in a minute if I could”. This will cause the foster parent to think that they are going crazy and doubt what they are seeing in the child’s behavior.

8. If the foster child drives you crazy then feel free to tell the foster parents about it. Don’t worry about saying anything rude about the child within their care, it’s not like they are his/her REAL parents anyway. Say things like, “how can you stand that kid?” “ I would have shipped him/her off long ago.” Be sure to complain about the child every chance you get, ignoring any hint of hurt from the foster parent.

9. Drive home any feelings of ineptness by telling the foster parents how you’d have “that kid straightened out in two weeks." Nothing makes a foster parent feel unsuccessful like comparison of parenting skills. This will cause the foster parents to doubt their parenting ability and to second guess every choice and decision.

10. Ask the foster parents if they feel terrible about taking away from their own children with their choice of doing foster care. Guilt is a very effective tool if you want to destroy someone’s self-worth. This is even more effective during times of high stress when the foster child is having behavior problems and the family is in crisis mode.

If you follow these 10 easy steps you too could end a perfectly good friendship with your pal who does foster care!

Homestudy

So she just left. It was no big deal. The anxiety attack was for nothing (but they usually are). We just signed paperwork. I made her take a vegan cupcake hahahah. So... I AM SO EXCITED! I hope we get another baby/child soon!

Andrea

I know I have mentioned my very talented cousin on here. But she is the best! If you are in the market for some fabulous portraits then she is who you need to call.

http://www.coilyphotos.com/

Yesterday she offered to watch E so my bff Shannon and I could clean. (Shout out to Shannon! I would be crying if it weren't for her). Well, I love when Andrea sees E because I know some beautiful pictures are bound to happen.




See what I mean!


This is her son showing her how to operate the car.



E sees her opportunity to book it for the car






AHHH! Andrea, put down the camera and save my baby. (hahah)


Aren't they great! Isn't she great! Thank you so much Andrea.

(And another shout out to Theresa for bringing my baby back to me)

Homestudy

I feel light headed. A SW from our agency called and wanted to set up a time to come out for our homestudy! I said ASAP, so we are doing our first one this week. Can you believe it?!! We need to paint the base boards. We need to CLEAN! She told us that we don't have to have the crib/bed until we are almost complete with the homestudy, which could take months. Months? I want this done now. Since our county foster agency closed I know our agency is swamped but maybe some cupcakes and cookies will help speed things along :) She also said that our kids could share a room until they are 5. So we may not have to move into the dinning room. You can't understand how excited and nervous I am.

This little girl could have a sibling soon!

Class

Today was a class on sexual abuse. I was not looking forward to it. I was expecting to cry for 3 hours. Thank goodness it wasn't that bad. We only watched one video and heard one story. One couple refused to partake in an activity and left. This was the last class they needed for their training. I guess they decided that fostering wasn't for them. We learned that we have to have a bed readily available for the child we will get. That makes things difficult for us, because we won't know the age we are getting. I guess we will get a convertible crib.