This is how we roll

Even though my dream house sold, we still have our house on the market.  We NEED more room! We did have one couple very interested in it, but lost out.  They just put in an offer somewhere else. We were runners up.  :/  But we had another showing today... And we put an offer in on another house with a contingency that our house sells.  I doubt they will accept the offer, but I wanted to try.  So, lets see what happens.  This is the crazy stuff I do.  We should hear back within 24 hours.

On top of that my phone shattered.  Womp womp

Take... what are we up to?

What a day! 

I took the girls to Mimi's house because of our meeting today.  By the time I got back I didn't have time to paint my nails, but that's ok.  

I got crazy nervous as we were walking out of our house. 

I forgot to grab the keys on the way out. 

I locked us out of our house without any way of getting to the agency. 

I was literally going to break out a window before I realized we have a lock box for the realtors. 

I called our realtor and asked for the combo. He burst my plan by telling me it was electronic box.

We looked around our house for a spare. None were returned to the spot after they were used. 

We called a neighbor who should have an extra. They didn't answer.

The hubs was able to break the latch on a window and squeeze in.

Thank goodness! 

Needless to say, I was really nervous walking into the agency.

The Hubs spotted the bparents as we were walking in at the same time. 

They obviously recognized us because they held back and waited to go inside. 

I didn't get a good look. I only saw them with my peripheral vision.  I didn't want to stare. 

So we go into the agency and our social worker told us the bparents were walking in with us, which we thought. 

We didn't know if we were the first or the second couple to be interviewed by them. And it was nerve wracking. 

They came in and we hit it off instantly. 

They brought a list of questions to ask and we were completely honest. We didn't hold back at all.

They were either going to love us or hate us. 

I asked them if they would mind if we didn't circumcise. bdad did NOT like that.  I think I really blew his mind. haahh I said if it was a deal breaker we would do it. But I really preferred not to.  He said he was ok with it, but he was going to think on it. 

They asked us if we had a name picked out. 

I said yes. And told them I didn't know if they would like it. 

I gave them the name and based on their reaction, they didn't. hahah

They told us the name they had been calling him and we told them that we would love to use that as his middle name, if they chose us. 

We kind of left things with, "it was really nice to meet you. Thank you for the opportunity, but whatever path you chose is meant to be and we will understand if you don't chose us. "

After we left the husband said we should do something that has been my New Year's resolution for the last 3 years.  It was perfect because I knew it would completely take my mind off of things. 

We went shooting. 

I have never shot a gun and that has seriously been something I have wanted to try. 

I will NEVER be a hunter.  But I just wanted to see what it's like.

Here we are just after our meeting.  

I am anxiously awaiting the line to die down.

Super glad the hubs knew how to do this. 

The man behind the counter said he wasn't going to come in with us. 

This is why I take all the pictures and am never in them. ...Bad composition babe. 

Not too shabby for my first time shooting. 

Sure I was aiming for the X... but not too bad. There were a few pretty close ones. 

Somehow I made myself bleed. 

Look at this stud

We did about the same.  No clear winner.

As we were driving home we got a call from Ms P. I answered but my stupid phone lost the call.  I seriously hate A*&T.  I tried calling her back over and over but it wouldn't go through. 

The hubs tried on his phone. But since we have the same cell provider he couldn't get her either. 

Finally we got a signal and were able to get through. 

Our agency is small.  Very very small. Like 3 full time employees small.  (And I can't believe how amazing they are.  If you know anyone who lives in my city. They need to go through this agency) When the other social worker answered she sounded happy.  That made me feel like they chose us. 

She transfered the call to Ms P. and she is WAY harder to read. She asked how we are. I said "good but we may be great or disappointed depending on what you're about to say."  She chuckled and said, "They chose you."  I asked, "then why do you sound so apprehensive." She laughed and said it's scary,  always bringing me back to reality.  There is something similar to the last bparents we were matched with.  And I agree. It is scary. They could change their mind.  But I am still going to be excited. 

They want to meet for dinner so we can get to know each other better.  I love that. 

So there we are.  We are awaiting the arrival of our son. 

Prayers that everything goes smoothly and how God intends. 

You're so vain

It's no secret. I tell my girls how beautiful they are many, many times a day. 

They know and aren't afraid to tell me how beautiful they are. 

It makes me laugh, when Pumpkin says, "Oh, I'm so pretty"

I would much rather them be overconfident than under. 

 They were getting ready to walk in to swim class. 

 And then Pumpkin did this. Which cracked me up. 

 I never suck in my stomach.  

I have too much stomach to suck in anyway, and you wouldn't notice if I was. hahahah

I love my sweet, vain little beauties. 

major spoiler alerts

We had girls night last night.  It started off with Mexican food and then we saw 

Wh*t to Expect Wh*en You're Exp**ting 

***********Spoiler alerts: Do not read this if you want to see the movie**********

I went into this movie with VERY low expectations.  Our rule for girls night is to see movies our husbands don't want to see with us. 

I knew that it would be rough with my story. But I wasn't expecting it to be so on target.

First off, there was a story line about a miscarriage.  I remember being in the hospital just like her. Crying just like her.  Feeling just like her. I think I have a very healthy attitude towards out lost child, but man, this scene totally brought me there. 

Secondly, infertility. A couple comes to the decision to adopt.  They make sacrifices. They struggle financially and emotionally. The Husband has a hard time coming to terms with it.  Thankfully my husband has never struggled with it.  But I know it's something a lot of men really can't come to terms with and it once again made me remember how amazing and supportive and loving my husband is.  Funny enough my husband and I were talking about infertility just before the girls got to our house. 

Lastly, in relation to me, the horrible pregnancy.  The mom felt exactly like I did when I was pregnant.  I hated it. Every second of it.  You want to love the time you have of carrying your child.  It makes you feel like there's something wrong with you. Unlike the story, my pregnancy with Pumpkin was also filled with lots of medical ups and downs. Does she only have three arteries in her heart? Does she have down syndrome? I don't even remember everything.  But there was a lot going on. Anyway, the end of her story was like mine. She started hemorrhaging.  She didn't have a hysterectomy like me.  But she did almost lose her life.  Again, it brought me back. I remember Pumpkin's heart rate dropping and having to rush into an emergency c-section.  I remember seeing her face over the sheet for the first time and thinking she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  Instantly, the last 9 moths were a wash.  I didn't care about how awful I felt.  Then I could feel myself weakening.  I knew I was about to pass out.  Waking up hours later to find out I was knocking on deaths doors. 

I know the movie isn't getting good reviews. And I probably wouldn't have liked it as much if it didn't relate to me.  But man did it.  

I do wish I was sitting next to my friend Heather. #1 Lindsay was talking in regular tone during the movie and I hate that.  I kept shushing her. I am totally that person. I will always tell talking people to be quiet. I have a really hard time not doing it during previews. hahaha  #2  It's hard for other people to empathize with you if they haven't experienced any part of what you went through. Heather and I kept exchanging glances from one end to the other. 

More Art

It really is hard to find art with African American people in the pictures, at least where I'm looking.

I have been commenting to Emily from The Black Apple to make more AA art. My Aunt bought us this and I love it!

She is starting a new series and I am so in love with it.  I can't wait for them to go in her shop! 

Go here to see more. The Black Apple

Lily of the Valley are one of my favorite flowers and the whole reason I picked to get married in May. I wanted them in my bouquet and didn't want to spend $150 a stem for them. 

This lovely lady looks like our Petunia. 

Obviously this is closer to resembling Honey.

Hopefully there is one coming that looks like Pumpkin. Regardless these will be added to our ever expanding collection of art to be hung. 

Here we go... Again

I just got off the phone with our adoption worker.  She told me we were chosen...but so was another family.  The bparents wanted to meet both families before making their decision.   Our agency really tried to deter them of this asking if they wanted to meet the family they liked more, first.  They didn't want to do that.  They wanted us both.  So here we go, again.   I am not excited.  I hate saying that.  This time around I am very cautious and I hate being like that.  I obviously wear my heart on my sleeve and I hate being guarded.  My mentality is definitely, It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. So I really do wish I could pump myself up.  They are aware of Petunia, so they know there is a chance we will be able to adopt her, and we will if blessed to do so.

Prayers that the bparents make the best decision for them and for their baby.

Here we go...again.

The museum

My friend Jasmine invited us to go to the museum. 

I said no. I was feeling sorry for myself about our failed adoption. 

(This was about a week after we were told we weren't getting our son)

She guilted me into going.

Honey was so excited to see Penny. 

 I cried when I saw Yukon. Baby boys still get me upset.  

That's what I long for. 

With my luck, God will only give us girls. 

I'm glad we went.  

Penny overcame her fear of the astronaut, but she instilled a fear of the cave on my girls.