Party

Friday I got a text from Sweet Potato's mom, the "family friend", inviting me to his 2nd birthday party that Sunday.  His birthday was in October, so to say I was curious is an understatement.  Not to mention I haven't heard a single word from her since she got custody of him.  Oh I take that back, after she got custody and the county mailed me his insurance card.  Still over a year ago.  Of course I didn't hesitate and said yes instantly.  I was incredibly anxious and didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to get asked over and over about how I was doing.  I did however tell my mom.  She demanded to come because she was concerned for my safety.  I wasn't worried, but it was odd that I hadn't heard anything in over a year and his birthday was two months before his party.  So I told her she could come under one condition.  She could not overreact and NO crying.  She said she wouldn't, I didn't believe her, but she came.

We got there and the employee directed us on where the party was.  I saw him instantly.  He looked exactly the same.  His hair was longer and he really hadn't grown that much in a year.  He was walking.  He seemed really happy.  I saw his new mom after a couple of minutes being there.  We said hi like we were high school friends.  That was a little weird to me.  This is the woman who I competed against for out son.  She was the one who lied to the judge and told him what a great relationship we had.   She was the one that took him away.  But I was grateful to be invited.  There was only one part when I got teary.  Sweet Potato grabbed on to Pumpkin and was memorizing her.  That got me.   He doesn't remember us, but more importantly, my girls didn't remember him.

I know that they were still very young when we had S.P. at twin 2 year olds, but I thought maybe after they saw him something would spark for them.  It didn't.  Their greatest loss was Peanut.  They were older when we had her, even though we only had her for 6 months.  I am truly grateful they invited me to go. Seeing him with them put my heart and mind at ease.  It gave me the closure I needed to see and realize, he is no longer my son.  My heartache I've carried for so long, gone within a two hour period.  I'm not saying I won't think of him often, or cry on his birthday.  But I don't think I will be thinking of him daily.  I don't think I will have that pain in my heart anymore.  Only time will tell what I will actually feel.  But today I feel like I got closure and am so blessed to have the forever family I do.